It seems unlikely that anyone who knows me personally doesn't already know that I'm freshly single. It would seem that my violent threats don't really work, especially when dealing with someone who is much taller and broader and stronger than I am.
I also did something extremely stupid this morning - I went to beg. I know I know, the shame. I guess it sounds stupid, but I didn't want to go down without a fight, so to speak. Of course, my romantic ideals of happiness didn't stand a chance against the harsh practicality of life (or one that he wishes to lead anyway.) Or maybe that's just my way of coping, to lighten the sting of having a person walk away from you.
People tell me that it's not so much me he's giving up, it's just our extremely differing ideals and personality. I would like to believe so, but the love I know and recognise is not something I would ever walk away from simply because it isn't logical to stay together. The love I know is passionate, and great, and grand, and overcomes all obstacles, and doesn't ever quit. The love I know is a conscious decision I make to stay with a person through thick and thin (be it financially or physically.) And rejection will always be personal, regardless of what others tell you.
I'm assuming he (and maybe everyone else) thinks that this is for the best. A part of me does believe that, is excited even to embark on this new journey. Another part of me feels a little dead, and misses and longs and wants everything that I just lost.
But as a very good friend has pointed out, I did not (and will never) define myself by a relationship. I thank everyone for their ridiculously generous outpouring of love and concern. I'm strong (relatively) and have pulled through worse.
I'll be okay.
I also did something extremely stupid this morning - I went to beg. I know I know, the shame. I guess it sounds stupid, but I didn't want to go down without a fight, so to speak. Of course, my romantic ideals of happiness didn't stand a chance against the harsh practicality of life (or one that he wishes to lead anyway.) Or maybe that's just my way of coping, to lighten the sting of having a person walk away from you.
People tell me that it's not so much me he's giving up, it's just our extremely differing ideals and personality. I would like to believe so, but the love I know and recognise is not something I would ever walk away from simply because it isn't logical to stay together. The love I know is passionate, and great, and grand, and overcomes all obstacles, and doesn't ever quit. The love I know is a conscious decision I make to stay with a person through thick and thin (be it financially or physically.) And rejection will always be personal, regardless of what others tell you.
I'm assuming he (and maybe everyone else) thinks that this is for the best. A part of me does believe that, is excited even to embark on this new journey. Another part of me feels a little dead, and misses and longs and wants everything that I just lost.
But as a very good friend has pointed out, I did not (and will never) define myself by a relationship. I thank everyone for their ridiculously generous outpouring of love and concern. I'm strong (relatively) and have pulled through worse.
I'll be okay.
2 comments:
<3
the pic of a man on his knees begging while threatening the other party with physical harm is very funny, funnier than anything u hv written b4 :)
if one wants to marry another with exact thots n deeds, one has to marry oneself. preferably too if one is a hermaphrodite.
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