It's very difficult to be funny and light and humorous when you're writing with a heavy heart. It's very difficult to be clear and concise when your thoughts are whirling around in a mess all jumbled up like the cords on your earphones get when you leave them in your bag for too long. It's very difficult to tell a person (what more an audience) funny anecdotes and attempt to be funny when you don't feel remotely funny.
You know what the worst thing about feeling like this is? When you don't know why you feel like this. It's the same with being happy for no apparent when you wake up, and it feels like sunshine and butterflies and unicorns when in reality it's pouring buckets outside. You don't know precisely why you're happy, but you let it go and don't let it bother you because it's a good thing. You immerse yourself in the feeling, and enjoy it for as long as you can. You walk around the entire morning, desperately clinging on to that feeling, pushing away and ignoring every thing that threatens to burst your little bubble.You're happy, and you just don't care.
Well, it's the exact opposite when you're down in the pits. You analyze and think and over-think and stay up all night long wondering what exactly is wrong with you. Something's gotta give, you figure. But no, nothing does. Now you're desperately trying to remember when was the last time you smiled, and why. You watch an episode of a comedy, you watch the entire fucking season; you read shit, funny shit stupid dumb shit depressing shit; you listen to music, the entire range from classical to opera to house to r&b to Justin fucking Bieber. Nothing works. You're back to obsessing about the trigger, that tiny little thing that set you off. You rationalize and hold a mental debate and come to the conclusion that you were over-reacting. You feel worse. And you start from the top again.
Whenever I feel this way, I cut my hair. I can't do it this time because I just went for a haircut yesterday.
Carey Mulligan's look was more or less what I was aiming for.
You know what the worst thing about feeling like this is? When you don't know why you feel like this. It's the same with being happy for no apparent when you wake up, and it feels like sunshine and butterflies and unicorns when in reality it's pouring buckets outside. You don't know precisely why you're happy, but you let it go and don't let it bother you because it's a good thing. You immerse yourself in the feeling, and enjoy it for as long as you can. You walk around the entire morning, desperately clinging on to that feeling, pushing away and ignoring every thing that threatens to burst your little bubble.You're happy, and you just don't care.
Well, it's the exact opposite when you're down in the pits. You analyze and think and over-think and stay up all night long wondering what exactly is wrong with you. Something's gotta give, you figure. But no, nothing does. Now you're desperately trying to remember when was the last time you smiled, and why. You watch an episode of a comedy, you watch the entire fucking season; you read shit, funny shit stupid dumb shit depressing shit; you listen to music, the entire range from classical to opera to house to r&b to Justin fucking Bieber. Nothing works. You're back to obsessing about the trigger, that tiny little thing that set you off. You rationalize and hold a mental debate and come to the conclusion that you were over-reacting. You feel worse. And you start from the top again.
Whenever I feel this way, I cut my hair. I can't do it this time because I just went for a haircut yesterday.
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| Looks better/worse (depending on your angle and height) in person. |
I guess I only have my deluded self (and this blind friend of mine who told me I sort of looked like an Asian version of her) to blame. I am now stuck in my vicious cycle of depression, with no hair left to cut.
5 comments:
i love you happy or sad,long hair or no hair,in singapore or across the middle east.
u need not write 'funny' stuff all the time.
ur thoughts, feelings, point of view, anything. anything at all. but write them without making it sounds like a lecture.
what u did today was beautiful, got to know u better. keep it up :)
ps- funny is not humour, eg. ur hair maybe funny looking, but definitely not humourous.
I disagree, I think her is defo humourous
Justtt kidding ;) Good thing for you, your frame is too petite (note: I did not use the word 'short' or 'stumpy' or 'vertically challenged'. I'm sensitive like that) to be mistaken for a male. I on the other hand am never cutting my hair short again for lack of obviously feminine curves/stumpyness sorry I meant petiteness.
PS: a plus side is that flower clips look vvvv cute on short hair :)
eh NICE LEH!
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